Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Issue 6 - Airline Philosophy

Due to the shock loss of two of the dearest people on the planet, I found myself, last week, on a plane headed back to Australia for a fortnight.

I usually quite enjoy flying, but this time, understandably, the long-haul flight seemed interminable. In an effort to cheer myself up and pass the time, I decided to write down some of my more random thoughts in brief, Twitter-style sound bites...Unfortunately, having the ability to talk the hind leg off a donkey means that keeping things brief was never my forte (hence, why I prefer to blog rather than Tweet). Nevertheless, it served its purpose, and the following is the result.

  • They all told me to check in online. I didn't. Bag-drop line was sizeable. I checked in in under 5 minutes. Sometimes it pays to go against public opinion.

  • It's always a toss-up, isn't it? Do I go for an aisle seat with no view and get hit in the shoulder every time someone walks past, or do I go for a window seat with a spectacular view and get stuck in my seat when I desperately need to pee and the people next to me are asleep? Have yet to come to a definitive conclusion on this, but am thinking it might be a worthy subject for a Ph.D. I could be a doctor of seating.

  • An announcement just came over the PA. I have absolutely no idea what the guy was saying. Couldn't understand a word. Hopefully, it was nothing to do with my flight.

  • I love those moving walkways. Especially when they're bouncy, too. Why can't they have them everywhere? Down Oxford Street, for example – that'd be my kind of shopping: in and out and onto the next store ASAP. No painfully slow browsing and stopping every 5 seconds to avoid wayward tourists...unless I'm in Denmark Street, of course, spending quality time drooling over musical instruments I can't afford.

  • One thing you can rely on in any London terminal: there's always a Starbucks.

  • My hair's gone fuzzy.

  • There are no pens!! Why are there no pens in this terminal?! Darnit, now I have to go buy an expensive, tourist-trap one from the Harrods shop.

  • Aah, nice Harrods man gave me a discount because I didn't have quite enough cash on me. See, this is why I like Harrods: it's one of the only places in London that provides customer service. (Plus, I like the gaudy Egyptian Hall.)

  • Great. My spaghetti has heaps of garlic in it. Hope I don't sit next to a hot guy. Oh, I have gum. All good.

  • Aargh! They have “Star Trek”! My plans to sleep as much as possible just went out the window.

  • Thank God You're Here. Good laugh. Merrick Watts: what a legend. But does anyone else think Rhys Darby is like the Kiwi version of Ricky Gervais?

  • My hair's gone really fuzzy.

  • I love airline food. Vegan meals FTW.

  • Changi airport. Massage = cheap; hot chocolate = expensive. Rob Thomas song is playing – somebody has good taste. Very clean here.

  • Wait – Ewan McGregor has his own fragrance?? Surely he's having us on.

  • My hair is truly disgusting.

  • Our pilot's name is Captain Hook. Rad.

  • Nothing so picturesque as flying into an Australian sunrise over a stunning bank of white and pink clouds. A reminder that, even in the midst of great tragedy, we can find beauty and joy in the things God provides for us.

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